Life has been hell for quite some time in the year of our lord, 2018.
It wasn’t perfect before, either. But remember in the early aughts when our dumbass president choking on a pretzel was like major nation-wide news for several month?
Lol. Cute. Almost a gift of a gaffe, in light of our current president (But also not really because George W. Bush committed several war crimes and atrocities himself!)
Who can blame anyone for wanting to go back to simpler times, even if they were only simpler because we were younger and more naive?
This year, give the gift of going back in a time to before all pretenses of civility and stable were utterly were totally shattered. Here’s what to get to relive that early aughts dream:
Tired of rewatching your complete DVD collection set of all four seasons of The OC over and over again? Well there’s another way to get your fix of Seth’s adorkable shenanigans.
Ok, so the experts gave this TV show board game adaptation reviews like, “Vomit! Obscene Post modernism! Nothing of interest here!” But like Ryan, OC The Game can be whoever you want it to be.
Price: $9.99 on Ebay
We like to poke fun at this fashion moment that defined the early aughts. But can you think of any outfit that has become more iconic in the years that followed? Of course not. Show your unbreakable bond with your life partner by going as the couple that lasted three glorious years.
Kids nowadays have no idea what the fear of Y2K wrought upon us. But we will #NeverForget. For a moment, we thought a computer glitch would send the world into disarray and cause satellites to fall from the sky. And somehow, our top concern wasn’t losing access to AIM.
Price: $18.97 on Amazon
When AIM died in 2017 a piece of our childhoods went with it. But never fear! The fantastic and surprisingly emotionally evocative game Emily is Away (and its sequel, Emily is Away Too) is here to remind you of the joys of Away messages with green and black fonts and overly emotionally song lyrics.
Price: Free on Steam
5. Basic Uggs
No winter outfit was complete without these fugly, expensive, extremely comfortable staples.
Sure, it probably gained you a reputation in high school for being one of “those girls.” But who’s laughing when snow comes and you’re feet are, if anything, sweating.
Just avoid wearing with the accompanying Juicy Couture pants, and you should be good now.
Price: $170 at Uggs
Some movies might be born from fads, but they then become classics. That is the case with From Justin to Kelly.
Also, all hail Queen Kelly Clarkson, who definitely deserves the royalties from you purchasing it. And no cheating with a digital copy! IT’S DVD OR YOU’RE A FRAUD.
Price: $18.33 on Amazon
There are too many great memories on this legendary console to even revisit. But, of course, a purchase of a PlayStation 2 would not be complete without a copy of Tony Hawk: Pro Skater 1 or 2.
Price: $59.99 on GameStop
Ah, early 2000s phone culture, when T-9 ruled, you could get a cellular device for free with a Buy 1 Get 1 Free deal, and group chats were just a glimmer in Apple’s eye.
So let’s all agree to go back to this sleek classic — and a time when “K” was just the easiest response, rather than a passive aggressive kick in the balls.
Price: $38.99 on Ebay
Apparently, naming your product some variation of “razer” was all the rage in the early aughts.
And honestly, it’s hard to understand how this monstrosity passed any child protection laws, because I’m pretty sure my calves will never recover from having this scooter repeatedly slice into it like, well, a razer.
But I guess we can look back fondly on those injuries, now that electric scooters like the Bird can do way more damage?
Price: $29.99 at Walmart
10. Exemption from Twitter
I know it’s hard to imagine a world before online became a living hell, but legend has it that this was totally possible before Twitter launched in 2006. Most of us feel compelled to participate in it now, whether for work, news, masochism, or to stay hip to the cultural zeitgeist.
But fellow prisoners, we could be free. We could log off. We could delete.
And we won’t. Happy 2018, everyone!